formspring.me/autumnsays

I took this survey July 17 and again September 15/16. 2009

Now July 19, 2010

Which would be more meaningful to you: I love you a lot, I love you so much?

uhh..i love you. (:

yep.

I agree with them.

Do you like your cell phone? Or do you wish you had a new one?

i'm looking forward to the new one i'm getting?

my cell phone is fine.

Obviously not high maintenance bc I’m still good.

Do you prefer to call or text?

um, calls.

yes.

Yass. I really only prefer txts if I wanna hear from you all damn day lol.

Does it piss you off that stupid sixth graders think they're in love?

i was not aware of this nor do i care..lol

why should i care?

this is STILL a really weird question.

Do you like it when people play with your hair?

do you mean pull? lol..i like when my sister does my hair.

(:

Yeah I do. But wash your hands because I’m all types of particular about my hair care.

When was the last time you completely broke down?

3..4 days ago?

day before school? sometime before school.

May.

Anything you're looking forward to?

saturday?

my audition and the fuckshitting weekend and anything janet lol.

Trying to figure out what that audition thing was, maybe for chamber ensemble?  But looking forward to reading The Interpretation of Dreams! & To find out my plans for Thursday.

Would you ever try being a vegetarian?

i used to be, but i couldn't.

i'm thinking of going vegan when i'm 20.

Wow I am nuts lol.  One day I will probably join a cult of Prince worshippers and be vegan as a result.  So, yes.

When you like someone, do you picture what your children will look like?

lol, nope. but they would be freakin gorgeous! (=

nooo. ugh, that was true.

Those were both definitely about Gerald. But to answer the question, I like HIM and we already have 2 beautiful kids.

Who was the last person you texted?

marcus.

this annoying automatic thingie.

HEE-JIN ALYSA KIM I LOVE YOU SWEET THANG

What was the highlight of your day?

bringing the day in (=

when mr. cotter smiled at mee.

Oh mr. cotter.  But probably getting my check and receiving random messages from he who makes me smile and skeet.

What is your all-time favorite romance movie?

love & basketball? the best man!

and monster-in-law, and other cheesy shit.

Yeah that sums it all up pretty well.

Who do you have texts from in your inbox?

oh lord; marcus, gerald, danielle, kayla, cazre, bubby, kota, ref, greg, katya, dee (=, mommy, some random guy named dave, jamie, will, & alle baba

oh lord. jamie, kayla, danielle, bubby, shaneekwa, davion, mama, rolo, dee, seon, kota, lu alerts (=, toya, devante. mind you i dont txt, so they all old as shit

ew katya. ew REF! ew DAVION! omggg ew lol but um:  bam, seon, cazre, steve, liz, dee, gregorium, demetria, coot, glen coco, gianya, twitair, rico suave, self, best friend joe, nosebleed mcgee, rachel, sprint, alle baba, gerald, jared the fatty, rolo, mama, and big bertha

Are you one of those twilight crazy people?

the books are not worth the hoopla.

no thanks.

nope

When's the last time you said you were fine, but really weren't?

uh...as long as i'm living, i'm fine. (:

yep. living & healthy.

Wow I’ve had that philosophy for a while now

Last person you told a secret?

gerald doesn't let me have secrets.

damn it sounded like he owned me. sheesh but yeah i still don't have secrets.

ditto. I always confide in someone rather quickly.

Who was the last person you were in a car with?

siSTAR & mama.

yep [:

pops

Your phone is ringing. It's your ex. What do you say?

um, you look at the phone & say nigga please!

it's a bad time. lol it's alwaaaays a bad time nugga!

hay

Red Bull?

nah.

nah?

I guess

Is there someone you'd really like to just hang out with and talk about stuff?

emmm?

taylor! and steve? yeah steve too.

aw I still feel the same. but right now, big bertha because she is going to korea for the rest of ever ): also gregorium, alle baba, cazre, all my friends?

Think back to June 2007, were you single?

hmmm..nope.

....

I’m glad I remembered the first time around bc I sure don’t now.

Do you want to get married and have children one day?

[:

child(ren) definitely. marriage: if it's for me, yes.

ditto

Could you cry right now?

nah.

i'm sure if i forced myself

I don’t think so. Not unless a monster came into my room

Will you be single over summer?

no.

oh summer how i miss you so. not really, just....ahhh.

lol no (:

Do you hope your children are like you one day?

no! lmao. kinda.

haha yes & no. i want them to grow up fast like i did, but love their childhood like i never really could, for as long as i should have anyways.

Well that explains why I’m still holding on to childhood, doesn’t it. And I rather they have different personalities but the same logic.  Why would you want the same contribution to society two generations in a row?

Have you ever dropped your cell phone in water?

not this one, my last one.

Lalalalala

at some point yes

Would you be surprised if you parents had another baby together?

hell yes.

mmhm.

HAHA I seriously wouldn’t think it was my pops. Or my mama’s lol.  But if we’re speaking biological parents, hell yes.

Has 2009 been good for you so far?

it's been a learning experience.

so-so

2010 has been rocky, thanks for asking

Your sister tells you she's in jail, what do you say?

it's because of nicholas isn't it.

same thing

HA yeah.

Someone leaves a note and flowers on your car, cute or tacky?

i don't own a car. d:

rawr rawr rawr

still a bum

Would you ever date someone who was conceited?

hell no.

no thank you

not exactly.

Are you currently reading a book?

yes. a couple thousand.

no )':

YES and no wonder I was miserable at that time

Would you cry if you found out one of your friends were pregnant?

no...

maybe, because of being so emotional.

If she told me face to face.

Today, would you rather go forward a week or back a week?

forward?

yeah probably forward.

Forward!

Your best friend randomly starts hating you. What do you do?

say i never knew you could be so dumb.

word.

heck yes. and tell greg on them.

Would you ever go on a game show if you were offered?

no i'd be scared as shit!

yes! lol idk why i'd be scared

yes! monay!

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking weed?

haha, yes.

watch me!

still walkin strong

Where is the person who has your heart at the moment?

work.

*checks for heartbeat

yeah it's still inside of me.

lol I was a funny lad. he’s home.

Is there anyone who doesn't like you?

idk maybe.

maybe?

Isn’t that just the way things go?

Do you laugh a lot?

yes people tell me that a lot.

yes but it's quiet actually.

YEAH, love to

Who are you spending your summer with this year?

people.

most likely mr. clark lol.

that didn’t happen ): but books, my laptop, music, people I love & vice versa, and movies and tyra. hoorah!

Do you believe in karma?

yes..

yes still.

fate.

Did you have a good birthday this year?

uhhhh

last year was so joyful

my sweet 16 was soooo much better than yours, fareals.

Do you think somebody likes the same person you do?

do you mean is a hoe trying to creep on my man? yes.

hell yes!

HA duh, how can you not?  And nobody was checkin for gerald, lol.

Are you a boy or a girl?

lmao, fem.

*checks for weiner

girl!

i’m a season..

Last time you held a baby?

a week & some change ago.

sunday.....same baby lol

aw she’s 1 years old now (= but last time I held a baby was my niece on saturday and she’s a newborn.

Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

bloomingdales i think.

gap. 2 for $10 tanks wooot!

not sure if I’m wearing a shirt.

Are you a jealous person?

no, possessive of what is mine.

i get very greedy about my friends, yes.

I agree with female number 1.

Is there anything that you are craving right now?

yes (:

ice cream that i have not opened.

a nice sleep and he.

Do you like being kissed spontaneously or asked?

hahaha spontaneity.

yes

yass you better work!

Has anything happened to you in the past month that made you really mad?

errrrm yes

people kept telling me to go to the nurse & the nurse was rude and mean.

I haven’t seen the people I’d like to, and one of them is now in cali. Another is in korea. & I know the reasons I haven’t seen people are my fault.

Enjoyed?

Shamrock Farms

makes swell chocolate milk.  For some reason, I was going to say orange juice.  It’s because my brain has been on overdrive.  Sigh.  & It’s not stopping for another..38 hours.  Honestly, I will either be disappointed in myself or some sort of miracle if I sleep between now and then.  On another note, I just watched Ginuwine’s music video for Tell Me Do U Wanna.  You know, when spelling “you” like “U” was fresh and original and cool.  But really people, it's only cool when Prince does it.  End of story.  Anyways, I am quite a fan of R&B; you could say that my taste in R&B is 15 years late.  But I sincerely cannot watch this video without a side-eye or chuckle because of those little routines he does with that silky red shirt & them pants on.  Really.  Chuckles found below.

& Speaking of music and YouTube, if you search Alicia Keys’s Unthinkable, I guarantee that you will find adaptations of her song that will put what you hear on the radio to shame.  I know that is true for a number of songs on YouTube because people are talented & they broadcast & such and blah, but when I heard renditions of Unthinkable online, I actually began to like the song.  Yet in the car when Unthinkable comes on, I don’t object in the least when mama turns the station because we have beef with Ms. Keys. Aside from her being a recently-confirmed homewrecker.

This is number three.

1. I saw Answer the Call yesterday. Fantastic, fyi.
2. "God got Wendy's periods reversed. 'Bout every 28 days, she starts acting nice." -Purple Rain (the movie)
3. Why does Mary J. Blige have a song BY HER SEL(VES) & she says it's by Mary J. Blige & Brook? She's so comical. Have you seen her "dance?" Ellen<3
4. If you were thinking of me, call me. Don't tell me you were thinking of me. I'll kill ya.
5. I was tagged on YouTube!  (=

Beam Me Up Scotty still ain't my fav though.

"You need another lover...like you need a hole in yo head."

That's from Prince thank you very much.
I'm doing this via my phone so if it fails, i'll be damn pissed. Which also means it won't be pretty. Bleeeeh i'm starting to care about blog maintenance clearly because this is interrupting my nighttime music sexing. I was listening to Paper Trail. But anyways, i had some random mashed up thoughts about the song So Fresh, So Clean.
1. I remember the part of the video where Sleepy Brown (it definitely wasn't Sleepy Brown.  fuck me.) gets out the bed and it just screams COCKINESS ON DECK. Haha. I'll embed it when i get on a puter.
2. It's in my library of ringtones simply because i lover the lines "Don't you think i'm so sexy?" and "I love when you stare at me." Lmao the shit is grand & fucklarious.
3. Everyone should say "Waking up out of my slumber." Honestly lol it should be law [:
4. Was T-Pain out when this came out? NO! Sooooo i wonder how Big Boi responds every time he hears "Teddy Pinned Her Ass Down" say that. But then..it's his name. Maybe that's why it's not the hoopla.
5. Big Boi and Dre both are so different now from who they were on the cover of that album.
6. According to the song, being so fresh, so clean will get you fully reliable booty calls. AHEM!
7. "I love who you are, I love who ya ain't"
8. "The boy next door's a freak ha ha" ...DUH. He could seriously get it.
9. Hmmm..can they be the coolest mothafuckas while Lu is simultaneously the coolest nigga? We have a pickle! Lupe wins.
10. "The sky is fallin, ain't no need to panic." fucking grand
11. You can create anything in your attic.
Oh i'm on vacation. Floriderrr baby! Maybe pictures when i return. I have shit to post about like megamega but i need the comfortability of my laptop n shizz to go in like normal..or else it'll be poopy.

thanks [;

Okay so with all the hoopla from Michael Jackson passing away, I was a little upset by how so many people were just celebrating his genius and contributions to music and entertainment. I was an mj lover myself, but I have my moments where I just need a certain artist to satisfy me and comfort me…I needed mj when I needed Gerald but he couldn't be there, because mj always cried in some of his songs that comforted me the most. Speechless, She's Out of My Life, Break of Dawn, Butterflies, You Are My Life, Got to Be There, and the Jackson 5's version of I'll Be There. You can tell that Invincible was my favorite album, for hard times anyway. I'm glad that when he was here, I kept the positive view of him alive around me, but I don't want any of my musical heroes or idols to leave me before I can at least try to express what their music and respectively, their person means to me (as I ignorantly perceive it).

I'm not gonna go in order of importance because I'll end up forgetting people, even though I know that I will do that regardless. I'm just gonna say folks as they come to mind.

Janet Jackson: Okay so I'm a huge fan of Janet Jackson because of how she holds her own as an individual & a black woman, her stamina, and her fearless crave for innovation. I got into Janet Jackson when I was around 9 when I saw a special of a concert she was doing and I was just so inspired. She is a woman about her business, and she's not afraid to be Janet. When I was in the final stages of being comfortable in my skin (meaning everything about me, not just my race), Janet Jackson was my idol because I saw myself in her in so many ways. I respect her greatly and I love that she doesn't hold back her sexual being, she doesn't try to change her soft voice, and she appears to hold her own (supporting herself) even when she has a man by her side. Those are the ways that I see myself in her. I'm so grateful that she is, because without Janet Jackson, I wouldn't have been comfortable with myself the way I am today. Out of all of her thrilling albums, I would say janet. is my favorite because it was when she first started to come into her own skin and show that Janet Jackson to the world. <3

Ne-Yo: Ne-Yo is one of my favorite songwriters, and his voice absolutely makes me melt. & uh…rain (: I can't even put into words why I love my Ne-Yo so much…his music just makes me dance and be happy with everything I have and cherish & want my relationship. Ne-Yo is definitely a prodigy in my eyes; he never stops working and I admire that, and then everything he gives us is a hit. He never loses his spark and every album has been better than the last. With artist like him whose albums (the first 2) are so sexual, it's more of an intimate experience listening to them for me, so I can't say anything else. But I greatly appreciate all that Ne-Yo gives to us and that he dedicates his life to perfecting everything he does.

Beyoncé: Personally, on some days, looking at Beyoncé is what keeps me going. She drains her talent and gives everything she gets out of it to the world, and that keeps me giving to people. & Beyoncé never stops! Jay has to force her to take vacations, and once I get a grind, I want to be like that; constantly working at it and making myself fully useful at all times. I appreciate Beyoncé for being such a strong beautiful woman, and doing it for the ladies. (= <3

Lupe Fiasco: I'm not gonna make myself cry. Lol. Lupe showed me first off, that underground artists can be so talented and powerful. Lu showed me how beautiful praising can be, and believing in something greater than us. Lupe taught me how to take religion and practice what I needed to to help myself grow and believe and be beautiful. Lupe showed me to never stop, and to always cherish my life but still help those who are less fortunate. I wouldn't be as giving or heavy on gratefulness if it wasn't for Lu. Love Always Survives. Every time. Remember to SMILE!! I would be lost as far as faith if I didn't have my Lupe. & I'm thankful to be able to see what he is doing, that I gave him a chance, that he does everything that he does, and to receive his messages.

Charles Hamilton: I'm just so glad to have his music. Basically, he taught me that you can manipulate anything into helping your talent and making beautiful things. I'm not gonna discuss my heroes' music that much, just how they've helped me in life, and Charles Hamilton has enforced my belief of impossible being possible, and I thank him for that & making a great rap about everything ever. [: I reference him in my head all the time, every day.

Prince: This one is gonna be impossible. Prince is just a huge idol to me. I thank my Prince for showing me that you just have to put your foot down for some things if you know it is for the greater good. & that has helped me so many times when I've needed to come out of my shell. I admire Prince for coming from a not-so-healthy household and becoming something amazing, showing me that I could do the same. I admire Prince for making fucking so beautiful in song lol. Impossible is possible! I admire Prince for always having faith in himself and teaching me that when you know you've got something good, you can't let anyone tell you or make you believe that it is anything less. I thank Prince for teaching me that it's okay if what you are wearing doesn't look the same as what everyone else around you is, because you'll get more coverage anyway. (: I thank Prince for teaching me that you don't need physical comfort to keep you going when you know that it is somewhere in you. <3

Usher: I almost forgot about you. You're one of the few artists that I actually grew up with when I was younger. By this, I mean I had every Usher cd when it came out. & that's still true today. But besides the great immature music I starting liking when I was little, I mostly want to thank Usher for helping me accept my sexual drive and sexual feelings. When Confessions came out, it was like Usher's first album where he displayed what pure sex was and how beautiful it could be. Confessions helped me say that what I imagined of sex was okay. I was close to my Usher because of growing up on his albums, so to hear it from him really hit home for me. I mean I'd heard songs about passionate sex before, of course, but it was different coming from my Usher. That's What it's Made For, Do It To Me, Can You Handle It? They all hit me with a great umph. I was so happy he sang this album the way he did, and I listened to it every day for a really long time. & to this day, I still love Confessions because of how it hit me when I first heard it, and when I replayed it over and over after that. Thanks, you're a beautiful artist.

I know that I don't know most of these artists personally…that's why I say my " " sometimes because it's who I perceive them to be from what I know. All of these artists have at some point pin-pointed exactly how I feel about something, and I admire them for that too. I couldn't put the songs now because there's just too many. I mean, Prince has a thousand albums lol. & Janet Jackson is right behind him. I know that most of these artists won't personally know what they've done for my life or me, but I wanted to thank them and make sure what they did for me was kind of known before it is too late.

And yes there are pleeeeenty more artists who I'm crazy about, but these are the ones who have impacted my personal life & persona the most.

(so far)

*this post kind of upsets me because there's so many d*ad people i want to thank too.