When I was 15,

I got my first Victoria's Secret bra.

I started to blog regularly.

I made friends on the interweb.

I got on honor roll for the first time in high school.

I got my first C.

I became comfortable. [:

I did not drink alcohol.

I fell in and out of love.

I learned everything else about HTML codes.

I became obsessed with finding unknown artists.

I got 4 followers.  (:

I tried the vertical 69.

I got to know my hair completely.

I began having headaches from sex deprivation.

I controlled my addictions.
I made my sister my responsibility.
I found a mother in Danielle.
I began having 100% healthy relationships.
I always wanted to be held.
I'm not 15 anymore.

“If you’re horny, let’s do it.”

That's just been in my head as of late…it's fun to sing.

Okay so my niece is at my house when I wake up and apparently she's staying here til Friday. I'm not sure if I'm gonna hate or love this, but whatever. I wanted to talk about hair. My older sister Latoya put a perm in my niece's hair like 6 months ago-ish..I don't commend that or anything, but it's not my place to say shit. I just tell her what she wants to know about how I got my hair a certain way and we go about our business as far as that topic. Personally, I like experimenting with my hair.

But anyways, my mama is sitting in the living room doing my sister's hair, when she asks my niece what she thinks about her hair, and what she thinks is pretty hair. My niece says she likes her hair in a perm, not braided, but she thinks any hair that looks nice is pretty. In my opinion, I think my niece likes her hair in a perm because that way, my sister doesn't have to comb the heck out of it everyday to make it look decent. And i know personally that my niece hates sitting to get her hair combed and she is very tender-headed. My mama asks if she thinks Kota's hair in puffs is cute, and my niece says yes. My mama then proceeds to say the whole we are beautiful with what we are given shpeel, and how we shouldn't want to change ourselves blah blah.

In my opinion, a child is not going to be equip in saying "I want my hair this way, blah blah blah" unless it's a birthday or some shit. I don't think you should be the official judge of how your hair looks until you are doing your own hair. You gotta get to know your hair n shit. I mean a child does not control what they wear or how they look. Parent is boss & the example. So it really don't even matter what you think about how you look, booboo.

It really was not right for my mama to preach that jizz because first of all, Cynia (the niece) already said that she thinks puffs on my sister look cute. & Everybody knows that afro puffs are the ultimate "natural" hairstyle for a little black girl. So she can see natural as attractive, just not on herself…also, my mama is not miss natural! She did my hair in cute natural little black girl hairstyles all my life until I was in…like 6^th/7^th grade. & After that, I started getting my hair pressed every few weeks. This was when I first started styling my own hair, but people: you can wear natural hairstyles when you are a teenager. My mama did not stress that for me. It was basically: okay, you're older now. You'll start doing your own hair, and that means you get it straightened every few weeks. And that is not necessarily how it has to be! I hated having to go get my hair washed and done in the beauty parlor. I still do! I prefer doing it myself because that's just how I am. I like first-hand knowing how my hair is. But my mama never even taught me how to wash & dry my hair. Yes, it is a lot, and yes, it is mega-thick and long, but I needed someone to tell me how to treat my hair and stuff. If it were for what my mother taught me about my hair, I woulda never even touched it when it wasn't straight and smooth (pressed). That annoys me, that she would tell my niece that she should love her hair the way it is naturally, but she didn't teach me how to handle my hair naturally. That's so dumb. And when I stupidly tried afros (the wrong way), she didn't tell me shit. I learned on my own how to wear my hair natural, let it dry natural, the whole nine. She doesn't even like her hair natural. She had a perm in her hair for 30 years and she recently stopped putting it in, and now she gets her hair did every week or every other week! OD, mega OD. She can't stand her hair when it is not straight.

Now, on to how I do my hair. Basically, I wear my hair in three major different ways. Either I'll get it styled for some occasion and wear it that way for a long period of time (curls, braids, crimped), I'll get it straightened on the regular and experiment with different white girl hair hairstyles (parted straight, low ponytails, BANGS), or I'll do natural styles that I just put oils and hair food in to touch-up and make it look shiny (curly bun, twists, curly 'fro). Subconsciously, I named them in an order from what I like the least to what I like most…and also what is easiest to most difficult. I hate when my hair is curled because I can't do anything with it but wear it the same way, every day. I like braids for like a week, but then I get bored. When my hair is straight, I like how it looks, but essentially it feels dead…it doesn't have its own life and it's just flimsy. But it looks great. And last, natural styles, which I love. I think I like them the most because no teenage girls around me wear their hair natural, save braids. I've just recently gotten into the natural hair look, but I do love it. I think the body of my hair when it is naturally styled just fits my personality. & I can't wait til school to wear my hair natural. With my new confidence.

1. Lol some idiot on YouTube commented Ginuwine's song Pony saying "I always wanted a pony as a little girl." Wtf lol

Is this hard to read?

So I was just in the shower and I was thinking about this situation that I would find really sexy.  One day, after getting my hair straightened like a white girl’s, I want to go in the shower, or even in the rain, and get my hair wet.  Just soaking wet and then, if it’s in the shower, I want to lotion up and put my jammies on, and just let my hair set, wet.  I just think it would be so hott.  Some white girls do it like every night.  I do it when I have braids.  But it’s not the same, bc my hair is not full.

You would think that I want to be white, and I say that jokingly sometimes, but I don’t.  Nothing against them or anything; I love all people.  But I’m proud to be me.  I hate saying “I’m black.” Or “I’m 15.”  Bc I feel like I’m labeling or defining myself as one specific stereotype-given thing, and I’MM not anything but Autumn.  Or whatever the heck you call me.  :D  Anyways.  I’m proud to be ME.  Bc I’m darn special.  (=  …And if I were white, I wouldn’t be able to do all the cool things with my hair that I can now possibly do.  I love that about my hair, when I’m not fighting with it on a day to day basis.  d=

Apologies for Neglecting You

Okay so firstlyyy I apologize for not posting on this shit when I had it for like a year I know you guys missed me comparably like The Caged Bird by Maya Angelou read that shit yo!.  =/ Lately I have so much shit in my head and no one to tell it to so my brain's been yellin at me for being so frequent with the thoughts.  So I'm getting them out.  This site was like way too complex & too many options for my fucking head to comprehend.  My right hand bitch Alicia thinks that is completely hilarious & always fucks with it how I can’t understand things that are even slightly complex hahaha well I can sometimes, it just takes a minute to understand or whatever.  I get better grades than her in school but that is purely because she does as little homework as possible to pass, and I help her pretty much with 100% of the hw she does.  So hey I go by lots of crazy names but most my friends call me Tally these days, we’ll see in a few months they will probably be onto something different.  (=  Sooo I’m 15, I’m really diverse as far as my thoughts and interests & I’m open-minded & I’m a sophomoreee.  I’m 100% black.  I know you never find nobody like that these days everybody’s like heyyy I’m Dominican & Puerto Rican & blahh but yes only American blood runs through my veins, my biological family’s American for hmmm…5 generations as far as we (I) know.  Then we from Africa probably.  But thennnnn my step-pa also known as Daddy Warbucks hahaha I do love him but yes he brings in the cash to my household well he was born in Costa Rica, which is primarily the reason I can communicate fluently in Spanish yayy.  I just signed off AIM gosh will this nigga hit me up already!  Sorry but um yeah I’m pretty darn boy crazy, but I take care of shit I need to primarily.  Which right now is only school stuff really.  Basketball just ended, I played Junior Varsity, hopefully my last year with them sucky niggas lol.  Jk I love them bitches they my chicks.  My hairs so fucking smoooooth woot got it done Saturday it feel like a white girl’s AND it rained today.  But still I can’t wait to get my sexy fro, whenever I get around to that.  =P  Sexy is sexy though, I wanna try lots of shit with my hair with as little chemicals as possible yayy.  So I just made this playlist I started it last night and perfected it when I came home from escuela so yo listen to the shit it will give you a taste of how diverse I beee bc I’m that open-minded & passionate about different shit in every aspect of my life (: & it’s mostly faster-paced songs though I do got love for the slow jams, you know that but um that was the mood at the time…I listen to absolutely everything.  Except…no I’m kidding I absolutely cringe when people say that and a lot of people around me do.  They like “I love all kinds of music except country & rock & metal” or whatever.  But I love everything, no exceptions.  That’s just how it is.  So listen to the playlist baby!  

Shit shit shit bitch slobbing on a huge cock