formspring.me/autumnsays

I took this survey July 17 and again September 15/16. 2009

Now July 19, 2010

Which would be more meaningful to you: I love you a lot, I love you so much?

uhh..i love you. (:

yep.

I agree with them.

Do you like your cell phone? Or do you wish you had a new one?

i'm looking forward to the new one i'm getting?

my cell phone is fine.

Obviously not high maintenance bc I’m still good.

Do you prefer to call or text?

um, calls.

yes.

Yass. I really only prefer txts if I wanna hear from you all damn day lol.

Does it piss you off that stupid sixth graders think they're in love?

i was not aware of this nor do i care..lol

why should i care?

this is STILL a really weird question.

Do you like it when people play with your hair?

do you mean pull? lol..i like when my sister does my hair.

(:

Yeah I do. But wash your hands because I’m all types of particular about my hair care.

When was the last time you completely broke down?

3..4 days ago?

day before school? sometime before school.

May.

Anything you're looking forward to?

saturday?

my audition and the fuckshitting weekend and anything janet lol.

Trying to figure out what that audition thing was, maybe for chamber ensemble?  But looking forward to reading The Interpretation of Dreams! & To find out my plans for Thursday.

Would you ever try being a vegetarian?

i used to be, but i couldn't.

i'm thinking of going vegan when i'm 20.

Wow I am nuts lol.  One day I will probably join a cult of Prince worshippers and be vegan as a result.  So, yes.

When you like someone, do you picture what your children will look like?

lol, nope. but they would be freakin gorgeous! (=

nooo. ugh, that was true.

Those were both definitely about Gerald. But to answer the question, I like HIM and we already have 2 beautiful kids.

Who was the last person you texted?

marcus.

this annoying automatic thingie.

HEE-JIN ALYSA KIM I LOVE YOU SWEET THANG

What was the highlight of your day?

bringing the day in (=

when mr. cotter smiled at mee.

Oh mr. cotter.  But probably getting my check and receiving random messages from he who makes me smile and skeet.

What is your all-time favorite romance movie?

love & basketball? the best man!

and monster-in-law, and other cheesy shit.

Yeah that sums it all up pretty well.

Who do you have texts from in your inbox?

oh lord; marcus, gerald, danielle, kayla, cazre, bubby, kota, ref, greg, katya, dee (=, mommy, some random guy named dave, jamie, will, & alle baba

oh lord. jamie, kayla, danielle, bubby, shaneekwa, davion, mama, rolo, dee, seon, kota, lu alerts (=, toya, devante. mind you i dont txt, so they all old as shit

ew katya. ew REF! ew DAVION! omggg ew lol but um:  bam, seon, cazre, steve, liz, dee, gregorium, demetria, coot, glen coco, gianya, twitair, rico suave, self, best friend joe, nosebleed mcgee, rachel, sprint, alle baba, gerald, jared the fatty, rolo, mama, and big bertha

Are you one of those twilight crazy people?

the books are not worth the hoopla.

no thanks.

nope

When's the last time you said you were fine, but really weren't?

uh...as long as i'm living, i'm fine. (:

yep. living & healthy.

Wow I’ve had that philosophy for a while now

Last person you told a secret?

gerald doesn't let me have secrets.

damn it sounded like he owned me. sheesh but yeah i still don't have secrets.

ditto. I always confide in someone rather quickly.

Who was the last person you were in a car with?

siSTAR & mama.

yep [:

pops

Your phone is ringing. It's your ex. What do you say?

um, you look at the phone & say nigga please!

it's a bad time. lol it's alwaaaays a bad time nugga!

hay

Red Bull?

nah.

nah?

I guess

Is there someone you'd really like to just hang out with and talk about stuff?

emmm?

taylor! and steve? yeah steve too.

aw I still feel the same. but right now, big bertha because she is going to korea for the rest of ever ): also gregorium, alle baba, cazre, all my friends?

Think back to June 2007, were you single?

hmmm..nope.

....

I’m glad I remembered the first time around bc I sure don’t now.

Do you want to get married and have children one day?

[:

child(ren) definitely. marriage: if it's for me, yes.

ditto

Could you cry right now?

nah.

i'm sure if i forced myself

I don’t think so. Not unless a monster came into my room

Will you be single over summer?

no.

oh summer how i miss you so. not really, just....ahhh.

lol no (:

Do you hope your children are like you one day?

no! lmao. kinda.

haha yes & no. i want them to grow up fast like i did, but love their childhood like i never really could, for as long as i should have anyways.

Well that explains why I’m still holding on to childhood, doesn’t it. And I rather they have different personalities but the same logic.  Why would you want the same contribution to society two generations in a row?

Have you ever dropped your cell phone in water?

not this one, my last one.

Lalalalala

at some point yes

Would you be surprised if you parents had another baby together?

hell yes.

mmhm.

HAHA I seriously wouldn’t think it was my pops. Or my mama’s lol.  But if we’re speaking biological parents, hell yes.

Has 2009 been good for you so far?

it's been a learning experience.

so-so

2010 has been rocky, thanks for asking

Your sister tells you she's in jail, what do you say?

it's because of nicholas isn't it.

same thing

HA yeah.

Someone leaves a note and flowers on your car, cute or tacky?

i don't own a car. d:

rawr rawr rawr

still a bum

Would you ever date someone who was conceited?

hell no.

no thank you

not exactly.

Are you currently reading a book?

yes. a couple thousand.

no )':

YES and no wonder I was miserable at that time

Would you cry if you found out one of your friends were pregnant?

no...

maybe, because of being so emotional.

If she told me face to face.

Today, would you rather go forward a week or back a week?

forward?

yeah probably forward.

Forward!

Your best friend randomly starts hating you. What do you do?

say i never knew you could be so dumb.

word.

heck yes. and tell greg on them.

Would you ever go on a game show if you were offered?

no i'd be scared as shit!

yes! lol idk why i'd be scared

yes! monay!

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking weed?

haha, yes.

watch me!

still walkin strong

Where is the person who has your heart at the moment?

work.

*checks for heartbeat

yeah it's still inside of me.

lol I was a funny lad. he’s home.

Is there anyone who doesn't like you?

idk maybe.

maybe?

Isn’t that just the way things go?

Do you laugh a lot?

yes people tell me that a lot.

yes but it's quiet actually.

YEAH, love to

Who are you spending your summer with this year?

people.

most likely mr. clark lol.

that didn’t happen ): but books, my laptop, music, people I love & vice versa, and movies and tyra. hoorah!

Do you believe in karma?

yes..

yes still.

fate.

Did you have a good birthday this year?

uhhhh

last year was so joyful

my sweet 16 was soooo much better than yours, fareals.

Do you think somebody likes the same person you do?

do you mean is a hoe trying to creep on my man? yes.

hell yes!

HA duh, how can you not?  And nobody was checkin for gerald, lol.

Are you a boy or a girl?

lmao, fem.

*checks for weiner

girl!

i’m a season..

Last time you held a baby?

a week & some change ago.

sunday.....same baby lol

aw she’s 1 years old now (= but last time I held a baby was my niece on saturday and she’s a newborn.

Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

bloomingdales i think.

gap. 2 for $10 tanks wooot!

not sure if I’m wearing a shirt.

Are you a jealous person?

no, possessive of what is mine.

i get very greedy about my friends, yes.

I agree with female number 1.

Is there anything that you are craving right now?

yes (:

ice cream that i have not opened.

a nice sleep and he.

Do you like being kissed spontaneously or asked?

hahaha spontaneity.

yes

yass you better work!

Has anything happened to you in the past month that made you really mad?

errrrm yes

people kept telling me to go to the nurse & the nurse was rude and mean.

I haven’t seen the people I’d like to, and one of them is now in cali. Another is in korea. & I know the reasons I haven’t seen people are my fault.

Enjoyed?

Tons of New Txting Buddies (=

1.  and they are sophomores.  I don't even like sophomores, but all of the cool ones were around me this week.  Some freshmen too though.  People weren't as repulsive for me this week.  (:
2.  I'm going to Costa Rica on Sunday and I don't wanna stay the whole week.  I reaaaaally hope I can come back early, maybe spend time with Blue?  That's definitely pushing it, but I'm allowed to have dreams.
3.  Did you see True Life:  I Need A Transplant?  Pretty great, makes you feel sappy though.  Otherwise, these new True Lifes look pretty lame.  16 & Pregnant is still damn good though.
4.  I'm pretty hyped to see my SAT scores from earlier this month.  They come on April 1 and unless I get over a 2000, I'm continuing my prep classes.  
5.  I'm about 19 hours into having braids and my head feels tighter than...yup.  Prettay darn tight.
6.  Blue doesn't act like he likes me anymore.  We haven't seen each other in...almost 3 months. ):
7.  I have to pack and I really don't want to.  I have about 5 articles of clothing in my damn drawers anyway.  Hmph
8.  Fairly Oddparents was so much better when it first started.  Now, it can't even hold my attention for very long.
9.  Why do Ethan Hunt and Rico Strong do so many damn threesomes together?

When I was 15,

I got my first Victoria's Secret bra.

I started to blog regularly.

I made friends on the interweb.

I got on honor roll for the first time in high school.

I got my first C.

I became comfortable. [:

I did not drink alcohol.

I fell in and out of love.

I learned everything else about HTML codes.

I became obsessed with finding unknown artists.

I got 4 followers.  (:

I tried the vertical 69.

I got to know my hair completely.

I began having headaches from sex deprivation.

I controlled my addictions.
I made my sister my responsibility.
I found a mother in Danielle.
I began having 100% healthy relationships.
I always wanted to be held.
I'm not 15 anymore.

“If you’re horny, let’s do it.”

That's just been in my head as of late…it's fun to sing.

Okay so my niece is at my house when I wake up and apparently she's staying here til Friday. I'm not sure if I'm gonna hate or love this, but whatever. I wanted to talk about hair. My older sister Latoya put a perm in my niece's hair like 6 months ago-ish..I don't commend that or anything, but it's not my place to say shit. I just tell her what she wants to know about how I got my hair a certain way and we go about our business as far as that topic. Personally, I like experimenting with my hair.

But anyways, my mama is sitting in the living room doing my sister's hair, when she asks my niece what she thinks about her hair, and what she thinks is pretty hair. My niece says she likes her hair in a perm, not braided, but she thinks any hair that looks nice is pretty. In my opinion, I think my niece likes her hair in a perm because that way, my sister doesn't have to comb the heck out of it everyday to make it look decent. And i know personally that my niece hates sitting to get her hair combed and she is very tender-headed. My mama asks if she thinks Kota's hair in puffs is cute, and my niece says yes. My mama then proceeds to say the whole we are beautiful with what we are given shpeel, and how we shouldn't want to change ourselves blah blah.

In my opinion, a child is not going to be equip in saying "I want my hair this way, blah blah blah" unless it's a birthday or some shit. I don't think you should be the official judge of how your hair looks until you are doing your own hair. You gotta get to know your hair n shit. I mean a child does not control what they wear or how they look. Parent is boss & the example. So it really don't even matter what you think about how you look, booboo.

It really was not right for my mama to preach that jizz because first of all, Cynia (the niece) already said that she thinks puffs on my sister look cute. & Everybody knows that afro puffs are the ultimate "natural" hairstyle for a little black girl. So she can see natural as attractive, just not on herself…also, my mama is not miss natural! She did my hair in cute natural little black girl hairstyles all my life until I was in…like 6^th/7^th grade. & After that, I started getting my hair pressed every few weeks. This was when I first started styling my own hair, but people: you can wear natural hairstyles when you are a teenager. My mama did not stress that for me. It was basically: okay, you're older now. You'll start doing your own hair, and that means you get it straightened every few weeks. And that is not necessarily how it has to be! I hated having to go get my hair washed and done in the beauty parlor. I still do! I prefer doing it myself because that's just how I am. I like first-hand knowing how my hair is. But my mama never even taught me how to wash & dry my hair. Yes, it is a lot, and yes, it is mega-thick and long, but I needed someone to tell me how to treat my hair and stuff. If it were for what my mother taught me about my hair, I woulda never even touched it when it wasn't straight and smooth (pressed). That annoys me, that she would tell my niece that she should love her hair the way it is naturally, but she didn't teach me how to handle my hair naturally. That's so dumb. And when I stupidly tried afros (the wrong way), she didn't tell me shit. I learned on my own how to wear my hair natural, let it dry natural, the whole nine. She doesn't even like her hair natural. She had a perm in her hair for 30 years and she recently stopped putting it in, and now she gets her hair did every week or every other week! OD, mega OD. She can't stand her hair when it is not straight.

Now, on to how I do my hair. Basically, I wear my hair in three major different ways. Either I'll get it styled for some occasion and wear it that way for a long period of time (curls, braids, crimped), I'll get it straightened on the regular and experiment with different white girl hair hairstyles (parted straight, low ponytails, BANGS), or I'll do natural styles that I just put oils and hair food in to touch-up and make it look shiny (curly bun, twists, curly 'fro). Subconsciously, I named them in an order from what I like the least to what I like most…and also what is easiest to most difficult. I hate when my hair is curled because I can't do anything with it but wear it the same way, every day. I like braids for like a week, but then I get bored. When my hair is straight, I like how it looks, but essentially it feels dead…it doesn't have its own life and it's just flimsy. But it looks great. And last, natural styles, which I love. I think I like them the most because no teenage girls around me wear their hair natural, save braids. I've just recently gotten into the natural hair look, but I do love it. I think the body of my hair when it is naturally styled just fits my personality. & I can't wait til school to wear my hair natural. With my new confidence.

1. Lol some idiot on YouTube commented Ginuwine's song Pony saying "I always wanted a pony as a little girl." Wtf lol

I wish I was grown. I wish I was grown. I wish I was grown.

I was gonna say "we were," but I didn't wanna make nobody gag.

Okay. I went to get my hair did this morning and Lord this one woman was bothering me. I just have one thing to say. Dress your age. If you are in your late 40s and you walk around with this imitational vibe, wearing ballet flats, leggings, a babydoll-ish shirt, and your hair on the side, you need to fix up your wardrobe or your vibe. Just stop trying to be something you are not! If people call you a name with a "Miss" in front, you cannot be dressing like or trying to be girls who wear Hannah Montana shirts, whom are in the 6^th grade. Just no.

Okay anyways, another thing in the salon. My hairdresser is madd cool. She's 22? I think; I don't remember, but we can talk about a lot of things. Today, this bitch was burning the hell out of me. Now I don't get no perm, never…I just get it washed & straightened, maybe curled. Today she curled it and everythang but damn! I thought she was gon' melt my damn scalp away. She said earlier that she hadn't gone to sleep the night before since she was in Atlantic City, but damn bitch neither did I! But I'm payin you! So shut up and grab a cup o' Joe or some shit! It pisses me off when they keep asking if you're okay. Let's learn a lesson. Miss hairdresser, why did you ask am I okay in the first place? Because I jumped right? Okay, so why did I jump? Because the iron burnt my scalp right? So obviously I am not okay! What the fried rice! Common fucking sense nigga.

I still have another post to write up. But I need some grub. It's musical.

Is this hard to read?

So I was just in the shower and I was thinking about this situation that I would find really sexy.  One day, after getting my hair straightened like a white girl’s, I want to go in the shower, or even in the rain, and get my hair wet.  Just soaking wet and then, if it’s in the shower, I want to lotion up and put my jammies on, and just let my hair set, wet.  I just think it would be so hott.  Some white girls do it like every night.  I do it when I have braids.  But it’s not the same, bc my hair is not full.

You would think that I want to be white, and I say that jokingly sometimes, but I don’t.  Nothing against them or anything; I love all people.  But I’m proud to be me.  I hate saying “I’m black.” Or “I’m 15.”  Bc I feel like I’m labeling or defining myself as one specific stereotype-given thing, and I’MM not anything but Autumn.  Or whatever the heck you call me.  :D  Anyways.  I’m proud to be ME.  Bc I’m darn special.  (=  …And if I were white, I wouldn’t be able to do all the cool things with my hair that I can now possibly do.  I love that about my hair, when I’m not fighting with it on a day to day basis.  d=

Apologies for Neglecting You

Okay so firstlyyy I apologize for not posting on this shit when I had it for like a year I know you guys missed me comparably like The Caged Bird by Maya Angelou read that shit yo!.  =/ Lately I have so much shit in my head and no one to tell it to so my brain's been yellin at me for being so frequent with the thoughts.  So I'm getting them out.  This site was like way too complex & too many options for my fucking head to comprehend.  My right hand bitch Alicia thinks that is completely hilarious & always fucks with it how I can’t understand things that are even slightly complex hahaha well I can sometimes, it just takes a minute to understand or whatever.  I get better grades than her in school but that is purely because she does as little homework as possible to pass, and I help her pretty much with 100% of the hw she does.  So hey I go by lots of crazy names but most my friends call me Tally these days, we’ll see in a few months they will probably be onto something different.  (=  Sooo I’m 15, I’m really diverse as far as my thoughts and interests & I’m open-minded & I’m a sophomoreee.  I’m 100% black.  I know you never find nobody like that these days everybody’s like heyyy I’m Dominican & Puerto Rican & blahh but yes only American blood runs through my veins, my biological family’s American for hmmm…5 generations as far as we (I) know.  Then we from Africa probably.  But thennnnn my step-pa also known as Daddy Warbucks hahaha I do love him but yes he brings in the cash to my household well he was born in Costa Rica, which is primarily the reason I can communicate fluently in Spanish yayy.  I just signed off AIM gosh will this nigga hit me up already!  Sorry but um yeah I’m pretty darn boy crazy, but I take care of shit I need to primarily.  Which right now is only school stuff really.  Basketball just ended, I played Junior Varsity, hopefully my last year with them sucky niggas lol.  Jk I love them bitches they my chicks.  My hairs so fucking smoooooth woot got it done Saturday it feel like a white girl’s AND it rained today.  But still I can’t wait to get my sexy fro, whenever I get around to that.  =P  Sexy is sexy though, I wanna try lots of shit with my hair with as little chemicals as possible yayy.  So I just made this playlist I started it last night and perfected it when I came home from escuela so yo listen to the shit it will give you a taste of how diverse I beee bc I’m that open-minded & passionate about different shit in every aspect of my life (: & it’s mostly faster-paced songs though I do got love for the slow jams, you know that but um that was the mood at the time…I listen to absolutely everything.  Except…no I’m kidding I absolutely cringe when people say that and a lot of people around me do.  They like “I love all kinds of music except country & rock & metal” or whatever.  But I love everything, no exceptions.  That’s just how it is.  So listen to the playlist baby!  

Shit shit shit bitch slobbing on a huge cock