"show your pussy love"

The links work under Safari and i d r g a f if they don't work on any other one lol.

“And tellin every girl she the one for me…and I ain’t even planning to call” lmfao.

That just happens to be the song my brain enjoys today even though I don’t like how Wayne is always repping blood when he was in that documentary about crips and bloods talking about how the gang life is crazy and it needs to come to a peaceful end and such…like wtf nigga. Anywhom, I was like just reading my first few blogs and shit. And omg im like such a little freshman at some times. Like when I feel like I’m talking to the world, I sound really stupid and stuff. You know how everyone goes through a phase just figuring out who he or she is. Well mine was long over, even when I was writing them shits. It’s like when a rapper sounds super immature on they 1^st album, and then they sound so much more professional and clear on their latest shit. Like Jay’s Reasonable Doubt, and now his American Gangster. Those songs? Omg, soooo mature and grown-man-shit. You wouldn’t even know by the tones of the 2 CDs that they are by the same dude. But after you figure out who you are and what you’re about, it takes like a minute to present that to people, change from your old presentation, recognize that you have to change it, and figure out how to present yourself now. I was still in that and reading from my old voice, I sound like the freshman that I make fun of. And that’s not me lol. I’m just not that person. Idk how to sum up my persona, except by saying that I do everything that I do for my personal satisfaction. When I do service or help people or even go to work, it’s because I want to feel the satisfaction of giving to another person. And if I was like a sociologist (like Alicia in the future) I would propose a theory that this concept is true for all humans, but I won’t get into that. When I break rules, it’s because duh yes I do understand the consequences, but I plan on killing myself before then lol no but I want to do what I want to do, so I’m doing it regardless. & everything with me works the same way. I do my geometry hw because I like having it done when class starts. That’s with all my homework. I work for grades because I like the honor roll letters. And pretty report cards. (= It’s not for anybody else. The only exception is when I don’t feel like going through life anymore, and I get up in the morning so my baby will be proud of me. (:

Hahaha Liz asked me today if I had seen Friday (the movie) and I was like “Le duh have you seen my skin?” lol it was soo funny.

I fucking love this song and yes I am fully aware that something is wrong with me. Many things. Anyways, he’s like all about telling girl to play with herself while he’s just sitting there--“ima put some dick in your world” Okay is this whole concept/song the sexiest thing ever or is this whole concept/song the sexiest thing ever? If I was the victim of this I would definitely had came about 9834723427 times. And girls…it’s harder for girls to orgasm off of non-intercouse or oral activities. I like hate masturbation. You wouldn’t think so if you knew my habits lol but I only do it when my body screams at me. And I happen to me a sex feen. I wish I knew how to spell that. And then dick too? Omfg. It’s on repeat. Please and thank you.

My boobies are über sore grrrrr

Something else I wanted to get out, was like the image of 13-16 year olds from Brooklyn. (this is before you know we have babies) It really annoys me sometimes. All of us are supposed to look scarred-up, short ass paintbrush pony tails to the side it has to be to the side because that is ghetto fab, get straight Fs and Ds (our MAMA SINCE WE HAVE NO DADDY get excited when we pass), be Louis-ed down, Gucci-ed down, Juicy-ed down, wear tight tight tight shirts tucked into our skin-tight jeans (now skinny jeans are in the hood) that are in our airjordans/nikedunks at the bottoms, have boyfriends that are potheads that don’t understand what respect, life goals, or sense are, OH get our nails done every other week with the gaudiest shit in that joint, disrespect our mama who doesn’t even bother disciplining us anymore, never have cracked a book yet know every last video up on 106 & Park, and of course, never ever suck dick since that’s disrespect to the female BUT YOU BITCHES CAN’T EVEN SHOW RESPECT FOR YOURSELF, but lose your virginity by 12 not even understanding your body. And yeah I realized I switched from saying “us” to “you all.” AND OMG NIGGAS SHUT UP THE GOVERNMENT DIDN’T MAKE GANGSTA RAP, AIDS, OR BLACK STEREOTYPES TO TURN US AGAINST EACH OTHER OR ANYTHING. THESE FUCKING THEORIES EXIST BECAUSE WE AS A GENERAL PEOPLE ARE JUST SO DAMN IGNORANT AND KEEP BLAMING SHIT ON OTHERS. TRY EDUCATING YOURSELF AND LIKE THE STUPID STEREOTYPES WILL SURELY GO AWAY. Okay so now, let’s talk about me and how I fit perfectly. Everybody who knows me knows that I don’t want to have babies anytime soon like not even while I’m in college probably. But my whole thing is, I’ll worry about it when the time comes. Idk why I should know now. Therefore it doesn’t even bother me that I’m not sure about it. I have enough decisions to make to GET to that stage in my life already. Okay next, yes I have been in fights but not nearly as many as I “should have” been in, and I have no scars. I can’t find one and I never have. I wear my hair to the side by accident from time to time. I’ll try to put it in the middle and it will end up on the right, it’s always the right. But also, OMFG! me and my mama have the thickest longest hair ever it is so strenuous to take care of but anywhom, my hair goes down past my shoulders when it is straight and when my fro is present, omg you don’t even wanna feel it, you will pretty much lose your hand in there lol that’s what she said. I have never gotten an F, nor a D. School is my major responsibility right now so I try really hard at it…I haven’t talked to my biological father in a year or so and I’ve seen him a total of less than 10 times my whole life, of which encounters I only remember one, 2 years ago. But I do have a father. My step-dad is an amazing man like really I cannot see myself entering a relationship and taking responsibility for raising & providing for a child too. It’s just a lot of energy that I wouldn’t care to have...now anyway. But yeah, he took that on and he made a relationship with me too. Next, in all, I have about 10 designer objects total lol. This includes my Juicy charm bracelet, 2 pairs of Coach sneakers, Coach purse, Coach rain boots, and a few Juicy t-shirts. ALL OF THESE WERE GIFTS lol…that is all, really. The whole how BK girls wear clothes, I duh have and wear tight shirts and tight skinny jeans, but I have never been comfortable tucking my shirt in, and then you know the whole tight belt squeezing my tummy thing. Just not for me; and I’m not gonna do it because I am “supposed to.” I don’t own any Air Jordans or Nike Dunks. The closest I will ever come are buying some Air Yeezys and if I go into sneakers then this will never ever ever end.

My boyfriend is extremely respectful and he would never allow himself to be anything less. He has goals for his life that are actually realistic and decent, he has a hell of a lot of sense he actually teaches me things, and he does not smoke. I mean come on, he’s my boyfriend lol. This is expected. I’ve gotten my nails done 4 times before lol. Yes first time was when I was 5 with a design, but it was my mama’s wedding lol and I only had this little tropical tree on my thumbs. I have never gotten fake nails put on, and every other time was with solid colored polish or Minx. I respect my mother just sometimes I don’t listen to the genuinely pointless things she tells me to do solely to exercise her power. & she does still discipline because she thinks I need it. The whole mother thing is for another blogging night lol. I read alllll the time I read everyday, and I read countless assignments every week for school. I watch 106 & Park like 7 times a year lol. (Jump Start on VH1 is where its attttt!) I suck dick and I do it well lol and I do it again, for me. Not to mention that I respect myself so much more than the average teenage girl and everyone around me knows it. So they respect me too. You are damn skippy I lost v-card at 12 but I think I posted a blog earlier on that everything in life has happened to me faster than anything I have ever heard of. I was so in touch with my body by then, and I knew already how to satisfy myself sexually. I added someone else into the mix, and it just happened to be the wrong person. He had been there for so long that I didn’t question if he was the right person to do it with. That was my mistake. & making sure that he was ready for it lol, that too. But having sex, as far as for me, that was not a mistake.

This is sooooo about the black teenaged girl who told her boyfriend she is pregnant so you best believe that nigga jetted.

Making me grr and such

i completely just lost focus and babbled by the end of this xD

I simply cringe when people use the word “ard” in like im convos or anything really it is just so annoying bc by context clues you can tell it means “alright” and I just looked it up at urbandictionary one of my favorite funny sites.  Supposedly it originated in Philly which is probably why I been hearing so much of it…my school is really close to Philly so to all the cats at my school, Philly Is like they second home.  d=  But it’s annoying bc they so oblivious about NYC.  It’s just like an hour and a half from my house so it’s like 2 hrs from the school but they like never go there and its sooo much better than fcking Philly.  What the heck!  One time this kid was guessing what state I lived in, bc I used to live in Brooklyn (when I got kicked out my mama’s house) with my brother but still go to school in NJ and make the commute every morning through public transportation…but I was supposed to keep that factoid relatively on the down low bc if the school found out I was living in a different state they could pull mucho taxes on my scholarship program and the money there is already tight so they would not be havin that.  But yeah.  First this kid guess Pennsylvania.  Of course.  Some of the kids at my school do live there.  It’s a half hour away, just like my mama’s house.  And then this nigga had the nerve to guess Delaware.  Like WTF?  Delaware houses are about 2 hours roughly from our school and New Jersey does not even associate itself (as a social whole) with Delaware…politically, geographically, or socially.  Even though it is a part of NJ’s tri-state area I believe.  I get NJ’s n NY’s mixed up.  But yeah…Delaware is as foreign as Washington state to NJ pretty much.  So I was like omg.  You have go to be kidding me.

-Grrr.

All the Brooklyn headssss stand the mother fuck up.  [=

so much, TOUCH

Well there is just about nothing on this shitty blog of mine. There has just been so much going on; I’ve just been like it’s too much to even get into. But my insomnia has opened the doors to time to express myself. (= Now I have 10 minutes to do this, bc I want at least 5 hrs to do my hw. I’ll probs finish in less time than that so I’ll add another one if that’s the case. So lets start with my hubby. There’s no doubt in my mind that I will always call him some variation of hubby (ex), bc that’s simply what I feel that he is in my life. He can come in, after we haven’t spoken for a month, and after a few hrs of talking to him I will be back to calling him hubby again. Anyway. Allllll of my friends know about him now. I told him that too. He kind of asked if that was a good thing, but in his voice I could hear that he was damn happy about it. I wonder if his friends know about me. But I can’t bring myself to ask. Well, last last Thursday he was shot…it was like the Tuesday after that that he began going to school again. I know, he is a lunatic. But you know what, my baby stays on his grind and I am proud. He’s proud of me too, and I don’t even have to do anything. Just do my hw, or go to school that day, or look out for my sister. Why doesn’t someone better than me have him? Doesn’t that seem like the sensible thing? I constantly wonder when his mrs. Right is going to come along and burst my bubble. But then, he did tell me some moons ago that he thought I was perfect for him. I just know I am his misses. I know, I contradict, but somehow my brain is thinking of both these too things. It doesn’t even makes sense to ME! But that’s what’s coming out… /= Whatever You Want by Tonytonitone blahblah however it goes. Just listen to it kay. I think I really need some sex. Idk if it’s making love or sex that I need, but I need something sexual. It’s definitely not fucking. Something is telling me that I need to have sex with someone other than Gerald to refresh myself. And I know I really just do NOT wanna do that. From the pit of my heart I don’t. And it doesn’t even seem like it’s bc I don’t wanna hurt him. I feel like I sincerely just don’t; if I was in the situation, I wouldn’t do it. Anyway. When I found out he was shot, (his really close friend Trey told me) I was not taking it seriously. I was like wtf. What is this? And he was like im so serious. But see, he was telling me this BULL that pissed me off later bc of how sad and scared it made me. He asked me if I had any fucking last words for Gerald. That is my hubby. Can you imagine how that feels? Last words. It took me like 30 min just to basically say that I will always love him bc he will always have my heart; my first love. How can he ask me to do something like that? He also said some BULLcrap like “his plane has crashed, his ship has sailed “ fwadala… I’m like…first of all, how can your bitch ass tell me this shit like this. It sounded like so heartless the way he spit it. I really don’t have anything against him though, he just scared me so much. My heart turned to charcoal that’s how I felt. And second of all, I was just like no, Gerald won’t die, I know he won’t. And his stupid self goes “I cant guarantee that.” Maybe I am just spoiled bc Gerald always knows what to say, but penises should DEF know that you shouldn’t say that to like the victim’s lover. Wtf? Brain? Is it there? I’m sorry. I know people can act weird in times of like trauma and big events and junk. But that’s how I felt. Time’s up. Bbl with hope.