What Has Playboy Done for You Lately?

You, or anybody else who enjoys looking at playboy-esque porn. I just don't agree with its fame in the world of popular porn. Are the magazines really that great? I've never been able to flip through one, but they must be amazing because in every movie or TV show, someone is flipping through a Playboy magazine. Why Playboy? Why not mention one of the other X-Rated magazines, or pornhub or spankwire, when it comes to websites? I will say that Playboy is...classier than most other brands in its genre; you can almost forget that it supplies porn if you visit the mobile website, but why would we try and be classy when the topic is porn? The oxymoron bells are ringing!
I also hear the parties at the infamous mansion are outrageous, but us porn-viewers have a better chance of getting into heaven. So have we thought of a reason why Playboy isn't chopped liver yet? Oh right: that ever-desirable, sexy Viagra-guzzler.
Moving on, before I get attacked..
I remember at my old house, how I used to watch PlayboyTV just about every night. It was channel 66...yeaah buddy lol. I guess it was free then, because we had CableVisions & there was no purchasing extra channels and all that. So back then, Playboy was certainly a good friend of mine. But now, if I skim through the channels, I have to pay this & that. What is that nonsense? You know you dont need that extra money, Viagra-guzzler. Honestly. Can't we just have a little free hardcore porn on the boob tube? & The titles of the stuff on PlayboyTV are soo intriguing. It just is unfair.
So Playboy, if you ever want me to write you a fat check, join the wonderful world of free porn. Thank you in advance.